Timelines

Timeline 11-13:

This was the age of awakening, truly. The first time I felt wet, the first time I spent all day kissing in a field of poppies and daisies. Mark Costigan, my first real boyfriend. God how I felt such lust for him. I’d have shit myself if he’d ever touched me below my budlike breasts, but oh how I oozed for that boy at such a young age. He was obsessed with that scene from Dirty Dancing when he lifts her arm up over his shoulder and strokes the back of her arm. I used to love it when he did that to me. I was feeling things way beyond my capabilities. He eventually left me. I can’t remember why, but when you’re 13 you don’t really have reasons.

Timeline 14 – 16:

Sex, for the first time. Paul Motimer. Roadie for a rock band. Cute as hell but knew it. I didn’t say no, but I wanted to. I didn’t really know how to. I had sort of been conditioned by then to just let things happen. I didn’t have anymore of that sex shit for two years after that awful introduction. He really the wrong boy to lose my virginity to, I didn’t love him, I just felt honoured that someone so beautiful would fuck me. I was the quiet girl in school, the boys paid attention but didn’t really make an effort to be with me. Some were interested because I must have exuded a sexuality men can zone in on at twenty paces. Some just aren’t attracted to weird pre emo girls (we didn’t have emos back then but I’d be one today if I were back at school.

Next up my first fantastic sexual explotion.